In The Joys of Motherhood, women are not only barely tolerated, they are discriminated against. A woman is supposed to be seen and not heard. Women are regarded as child producing machines only, and do not have any rights of their own. That is why a woman is not fulfilled until she gets married and is able to produce children. Where she brings forth female children only, her chance of retaining her position in the man's house is reduced. And where she fails to produce a child, she is regarded as a total failure. But, when a woman brings forth a male child, she is celebrated, not only by the husband, but by the entire family and the community at large.
Nnu Ego epitomizes the disadvantaged position of women in the novel. She is reduced to a housemaid in the house of Amatokwu, her first husband, because of her inability to produce a child. She is relegated to the background and saddled with the task of taking care of the home while her co-wife is showered with attention and accorded special treatment because she has a child.
In Nnaife's house, Nnu Ego's hope of womanhood is revived, but this is dashed when Ngozi, her first child, dies and she regards herself as a failed woman. Her joy is resuscitated at the birth of a boy. Nnu Ego feels happy and her relationship with her husband improves. When the husband is conscripted into the' army, it is Nnu Ego that is saddled with the responsibility of taking care of the children. Making ends meet is almost a nightmare. Unfortunately, when Nnaife returns from Fernando Po, he chooses to acquire more wives without even consulting her, thereby compounding their financial problems. Nnaife behaves like this because he is a man.
When Kehinde, Nnu Ego's daughter, refuses to accept the husband chosen for her by her father, Nnaife becomes very annoyed. Rather than face the situation squarely, he chooses to heap the blame on Nnu Ego.
Adaku, the other wife is also a victim of gender discrimination. All her children are females. On reporting a case of indignity suffered by her visitor at the hands of Nnu Ego to Nwakusor, Nnaife's friend, Nwakusor reminds Adaku that the only way a man gets immortalized is by having a son. He says to her "I know you have children, but they are girls, who in a few years' time will go and help build another man's immortality".
Nnu Ego's claim to the house is based on her bringing forth Adim and Oshia. Ironically, her male children prove irresponsible but her daughters and their husbands are those who give her support financially.
Gender discrimination is entrenched in the society. Even children are encouraged to believe that the male is superior to the female. Oshia, for example, refuses to help the girls fetch water because, as he puts it, "I am a boy". Rather than scold him, all the people around merely laugh. This shows the acquiescence of even the women, pointing to the general acceptance of gender discrimination.
Nwokocha Abgadi's behaviour to his wives is a good example of the way the female gender is treated. In total disregard for the feelings of his wives, he makes love to Ona in his compound, surrounded by his family. His impatience at Agunwa's jealous reaction which apparently leads to her sickness and eventual death, is an indication of the discrimination which the female gender faces.