THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE SYSTEM OF THE YORUBA PEOPLE.
The traditional marriage system of my tribe, the Yorubas is i different from what is obtained nowadays among the i people of other tribes. The system is interesting and error free if it is followed strictly as a process of getting married. However, the infiltration of the western culture has affected the traditional marriage system, just as it has affected other cultural and traditional systems in Africa.
In the traditional marriage system of the Yoruba people, a man does not just get engaged to a woman or goes into courtship simply because they happen to meet on the road or in a party fortuitously. A man's marriage to a woman is a gradual process through which a man systematically, as it were, gets interested in a woman and works his way towards achieving his aim.
In Yoruba land, a woman can be bestowed to a man when the woman was still a baby, but then the man has to convince the family of the woman that he is of a good character. There are lots of things considered before a man can get a woman to marry as a wife among my people. He has to come from a good family lineage which does not have a trace of inherited diseases and which has been known to possess some attractable virtues worthy of such association as marriage.
It is worthwhile to note that in the Yoruba traditional marriage system. a man wooes a woman through "alarinna" the traditional marriage counsellor and intermediary. who will go to declare the affections of a would-be suitor to the would-be bride. The 'alarinna' who is usually a matured woman in the society, and in most cases not a member of any of the families involved, always serves as the counsellor and the intermediary. She goes about to find out the facts about the two families and makes the desire of the man known to the woman.
After the woman must have consented through the 'alarinna'. the man is not free to visit the woman because the `alarinna' will now have to go further to get the consent of the family of the woman. It is after the family of the woman has consented and given its tacit agreement that the man and the woman can be said to be engaged. The agreement will even come after the two families must have investigated each other and found out that they both have good lineage.
The open expression of the agreement starts when the family of the man visits the parents of the woman to publicly declare that there is a beautiful "flower", which metaphorically means the woman. in their compound that they want to pluck. It is after this first visit that a date will be fixed for the traditional engagement ceremony where the nuptial knot will be tied.
The traditional engagement ceremony is the culmination of the process which begins either when the woman was bestowed to the man while she was a baby. mostly as an indication of friendship between the two families, or when he sees the woman as a matured adult and goes through the intermediary. Whichever way. the traditional engagement ceremony is always very colourful and interesting. The two families get prepared for the day when they will come together to give the woman to the man.
Among my people, before a woman can be regarded as the wife of a man. the man will have to pay the bride price known as "owo ori" and other charges such as "owo idana". along with other marriage gifts like some tubers of yam, schnapps gin and others. When the family is satisfied with what the man's family has offered that they will join them together as husband and wife.
Kunle sodiya.
OIBS.
lbadan.